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WebCars! Email Collection

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We all get 'em. Email jokes and various articles find their way around the internet like wildfire. The following car related articles are from the WebCars! files.

The truth about car ads

If The Ad Reads . . . It Really Means
Rough condition: Too bad to lie about
Parts car: Beyond repair
Clean: Homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows
Immaculate: Recently washed
Concours: Recently waxed
Good transportation: It's ugly
Engine quiet: Uses 90-weight oil
Needs minor overhaul: Needs engine
Needs major overhaul: Phone the junkyard
Burns no oil: It all leaks out
Rebuilt engine: Cleaned the spark plugs
Engine blueprinted: I don't know what it means either
Excellent gas mileage: It's slow
Low miles: The odometer was turned back
One owner: Can't give it away
Sure to appreciate: That's why I'm selling it
Drive it away: I live on a hill
Drive it anywhere: Within 10 miles
Desirable classic: No one wants it
Rare classic: No one wanted it even when it was new.
Stored 20 years: In a lake
Ran when stored: Won't start
Never apart: Bolts too rounded to loosen
Solid as a rock: Rusted solid
. . .or best offer: I'm guessing here
Restored, with 0 miles: Won't start
Faster than a 'vette: A Chevette
Restored, with 2 miles: Won't stay running
Older restoration: First owner washed it
Good investment: Can't be worth much less
No time to restore it: Can't obtain parts
90% complete: You do the other 90%
95% complete: Other 5% doesn't exist
One owner: Hertz
Great enthusiasts car: I'm looking for a sucker
Good tires: And that's all
House forces sale: Neighbors complaining
Trades considered: I'm desperate
Other interests conflict: Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that
#!!@&## thing goes or I go!"

Comments? Know of one we missed? Let us know!

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