We all get 'em. Email jokes and various articles find their way around the internet like wildfire. The following car related articles are from the WebCars! files.
WebCars! Email Collection
You Are What You Drive
Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX - I am impotent
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate
Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)
Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB - I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie
Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too
Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than
Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet
Volkswagen Cabriolet - I am out of the closet
Volkswagen Microbus - I am tripping right now
Volkswagen Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
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